As you may or may not know, my hubby, our kids and I live with hubby’s Mum.
She was on a week’s holiday last week so it was just “us”. The kids did fight and stuff as they usually do, but overall, things weren’t too bad. The older kids had all their school work up to date, they played outside a fair bit, somehow rubbish and dirty dishes were kept to a minimum (to what it usually is), my youngest daughter only had a couple of toilet accidents, I took the kids to the park, hubby and I were able to get some DIY work done around the house, I got to choose what we ate and I made the majority of the meals too. But that’s not what this post is about… it’s mainly about my youngest daughter and her toilet training progress (or lack of)…
By what I am led to believe, my mother in law has always hated nappies- she had all her babies out of nappies by the time they were 12 months old (so I’m told).
She pretty much took over with our eldest child and did things her way with them.
As we had more kids and I felt more capable as a parent, I slowly tried to play a larger part in my children’s lives (I have never liked “stepping on toes” and don’t like getting on the wrong side of my in-laws). By the time we had our 2 youngest ones, I was pretty sure how I wanted to raise them- especially having the final say as to when and how we would toilet train our children compared to the older ones which the mother in law had played a very strong part in.
I am happy for them to move from “normal” tab type nappies to nappy-pants or pull-ups and then moving into “undies” when I feel they are ready.
My 4 year old has just about mastered using the toilet. She has the occasional accident (like all kids do), but I try to not make a fuss of it. I’d rather make a fuss and give her lots of praise when she does use the toilet correctly and stays dry all day/night.
My hubby and mother in law tend to do the opposite and when they rouse on her for having accidents, it does get to me. I don’t like it one little bit. It actually upsets me quite a bit.
The worst is when they tell her she’s a filthy little girl, or that she’s a baby because she wets or dirties her panties (undies). Sometimes they use worse words but I won’t repeat those as I feel disgusted when I hear it said to her.
Today, my poor little girl has had 4 accidents that I’m aware of. Rather than telling someone she needs to go to the toilet, she hides somewhere and does what she has to in a secret place for fear of being scolded or told off.
I just wish some people would keep their mouths shut so I can try and do my best to help my daughter continue to progress with her toilet training rather than start to go backwards as she seems to be doing again (since my mother-in-law got back from holidays). If they want to help my daughter they can do so by keeping what they say positive and rewarding her when she does the right thing rather than to tell her off for having an accident.
I’m not saying I want to raise my kids on my own, I’m simply saying that I wish the other adults living in this house would use a different approach to what they currently do.
I have tried talking to them about the situation, but it’s like talking to a brick wall at times.
They obviously know better than I do as they’ve been raising kids longer than what I have…