What have i done to deserve this?

For the past 3 years I have hurt my back and it has put my life on hold until I was able to heal enough to get on with my life.

The first time it came as a surprise, the second time, it happened almost exactly a year later.
This year around the same time my back felt a bit niggly so I got some physiotherapy as a preventative measure and I thought everything was fine but late last week I hurt my back once again and have pretty much been bed ridden since.

I believe in Karma, getting back what you give out, but it makes me wonder what bad things I have done in my life to deserve to be hurt like this 3 years in a row.

It just doesn’t seem fair on me, my immediate family or my extended family (of whom I often help with their day to day chores and errands).
It isn’t fair on my husband needing to look after me like I am a child- I cannot even bathe myself without needing his assistance.

I went to my local medical centre and the doctor who saw me didn’t lay a hand on me, she simply stated that she wouldn’t give me strong pain killers as they can be addictive and to continue taking paracetamol (which doesn’t do much at all for the pain) and if I was still in pain next week, to return to the medical centre or go to a hospital if it gets worse.

Well, today it did get worse, but not quite as bad as what it was last year so I am uncertain as to if I should go to the hospital as I am sure there are many people who need the hospitals services more than I do. The pain is constant but I am trying to “just ignore it” and hoping that regular doses of panadol and sleep will help make it all better.

I just wish the pain would either go away (preferably) or get bad enough that I feel it warrants a visit to my local hospital’s Emergency Department.


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