I’m almost hanging off the side of the bed.
I’m almost tempted to just get out of bed and do something… go for a walk, pace back and forth in the entrance to the house, look out the window to try and find something happening…
I feel like such a hindrance. No matter where I am, I feel I am in the wrong place.
No matter what I do, it feels as though I have done the wrong thing.
I just want to feel like I am an important part of something. An important part of someone’s life.
I just don’t feel like that anymore. I feel like I’m an object.
An object for sexual favours, an object that will change plans for others at the drop of a hat, an object that is expected to do things for others and feel no negativity towards anything- even if it means missing out on doing things that I truly looked forward to.
I just wish I could disappear.
Grow wings and fly off into the distance, letting the wind carry me far far away.
Far away to a place where there is room for me to be me.
And people will be accepting of that.