It seems I have been Missing in Action for longer than I realise.

No excuses really- life just got busy and some things took a back seat for a while- this blog being one of those things.

My back pain is still affecting me as much as usual, some days even more than usual. I try to not let it rule my life, but often I find that that’s just what it is doing.
Since I last blogged, I have had CT scans and ultrasounds done trying to find a reason for my pain. It simply comes back to the bulged disc.

I need to get back into some type of routine where I am going for regular walks, living a healthy lifestyle and being as active as possible.
I think I have regained some of the weight that I lost earlier this year and that has depressed me more than it should. I am not proud of it and have turned to food to help me feel better. Not good food though- chips, lollies and too much soft drink.
I am ashamed of what I have become once again.

I understand I most likely will never have a wafer thin model’s body- nor do I want to, but I would really like to shed some of these excessive Kgs, I want to be fitter, healthier and happier within myself.

Some days though- it just seems like it’s too much to aim for. 😦
I feel I should just give up and not care about anything…

I want to keep myself busy from now into the new year. I don’t mind how- physical exercise, outings, getting back into doing things I really enjoy, keeping on top of my blog…
Christmas hasn’t been overly enjoyable for me over the past dozen or so years and as it nears each year I can’t help but worry what will happen this year.
I don’t want most of my Adult life filled with upsetting events and happenings throughout the end of each year but it seems to be what is becoming “normal” for me.

My ultimate dream would be to start a new tradition.
Have an early Christmas with extended family PRIOR to December 25th and on Christmas Day itself, after the children have opened their presents, go out for the day as a family for a picnic in a nice park, at the beach, anywhere really where we can just be together as our own little family unit.