Where for art thou sleepiness…

I wish i was tired and sleeping like the rest of the household currently is.

I know if i lie down, i’ll probably be asleep within 15 minutes or so, but it’s just getting into the mood to turn the TV off, the light off and get cosy under the covers.
I’m still quite stuffed up in the head with the tail end of this bug i have had for about a month now. Lying flat means i can’t breath properly so i prop myself up with 4 pillows but that just means i end up waking up with a sore neck and back.
It’s a catch 22 situation- i’m simply not going to have a comfortable sleep and wake up refreshed either way.

My tinnitus doesn’t help either, the quieter it is, the louder the ringing/hissing seems to be.
I had a shocker today. I was in a supermarket, got a bit anxious and stressed {*anxiety and stress is a big trigger for my tinnitus} due to the amount of people there all trying to get through the checkouts at once and also due to the fact i had an item scan at a higher price and had to have it rectified. I swear i felt like everyone could hear the noise i could hear- it was so loud that i could honestly hear very little. I am sure the staff member who served me thought there was something seriously wrong with me or thought i must have been stone deaf and forgot to put my hearing aids in. (I do NOT have hearing aids and hope to not need any for quite some time yet.) It was almost to the point where it was so loud that it was physically painful.

I recently read the list of side effects for the Thyroid medication i’m on. I ticked off many of those side effects and cannot help but wonder if that little tablet i take each morning is the cause for many of my current complaints/symptoms.
It is something that i will seriously have to talk to my Dr about next time i see her.

I am sick and tired (in more ways than one) of not getting a proper nights sleep, of constantly feeling like i have something wrong with me that i just can’t put my finger on, of not feeling like the me i used to be.

I could blame the kids- everyone who has kids had a different life before kids, but we adapt… I’ve had 12 1/2 years and 4 kids to adapt my life to share it with them (and hubby of course). That is a lame excuse though as i know the kids are NOT to blame. I would never blame the kids for my health issues (they may cause me some stress but they also give me a lot to be proud of and so much love- even if they don’t always show it themselves).

Well, i’m not sure how many people i have just bored to death with this entry, but i am finally yawning so will take this as a positive sign that i might just be getting tired enough to attempt to fall asleep listening to the deafening hiss of the tinnitus ringing louder than ever in my ears tonight.

Maybe i just need to turn into one of the old school cartoons- get a huge oversized ACME wooden mallet/hammer and hit myself over the head to knock some sense into myself and fall asleep easily?

DONK….. ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

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