Life’s too short.

Some of you may be following the progress, or decline, of my Nan’s health.

Today we had the Palliative Care doctor visit.
I know Nan isn’t well, i have noticed her declining each day but today my fears were confirmed.
The doctor couldn’t give me an estimate for her life expectancy, but she said the time was nearing. It could be weeks or months, i’m not sure, it may even be days… I simply do not know.

I am not overly religious, but it is times like this when believing in something or someone does help.

I am not scared about my Nan passing away, i just don’t want her to be in pain. I want it to be peaceful. I know i’m not the only one who thinks this.

I wish i could keep her alive forever, but i know that’s not fair on her. She has to have some quality of life, but that is now shriveling away with each day that passes.
She no longer has the energy to dress herself or change into bedclothes. She asks that i let her sleep in clothes that she wore that day.
She sits in her lounge chair all day, most of the time is spent with her eyes shut just listening to the TV or else she is fast asleep, usually with her mouth wide open. We joke that she is “catching flies”.
Occasionally she’ll hear something that sparks her interest and she’ll prop herself up and watch TV for a while.

I am doing everything i can for her, without actually forcing her to do things. She is now eating very little, it is worrying with the little amount she is eating but i have been told it is normal for this stage of life. Her thirst has somewhat increased over the past couple of days and she has been drinking more than she was the previous couple of weeks.

Nan has had so many visitors. More are planning to come for a visit over the next couple of weeks or so. She really loves her visitors. She does get quite tired, but she still loves the visitors. She talks about them after they have left, how wonderful it was to have seen her family and friends.

Her most favourite visitor in recent days has been her sister who lives a couple of hours away. It is so beautiful watching the two of them sit together, holding hands, singing to each other and talking about the olden days.
Today she got to meet her newest Great-Grandchild. Her face lit up so much and she got to have a little cuddle until she was too tired to hold him any longer.

I have been taking photos of Nan with our visitors. I show them to her when i have them on the computer. She loves looking at the photos but hates seeing images of herself.
In a way, i don’t blame her as i hate seeing photos of myself too.
I have to remember to try and get a few photos myself with her too. I always seem to be taking photos of other people, but not of Nan & myself.

Next week, we have a number of people come to visit from Community Health Care and the Palliative Care teams. I hope she finds the strength to hold on until next week…
We have a number of family birthdays coming up so i will remind her that those are happening in the coming days.


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