Today I’m sad.

Today i am sad.

I think i was meant to grieve today. I have cried a little, i have felt numb a lot.
I am very unmotivated today. I know there is so much that i could be doing, but i just don’t feel like doing anything at all.

I have had lot of butterflies flutter around me today when i was outside for a short while. I felt that it was Nan visiting me.
I had to go out this morning and as i was driving home, a line from a song on the radio was “…send me a message from above….” and at that instant, a butterfly appeared from nowhere and flew over the top of my car.
If that wasn’t a sign that she’s watching over me, i don’t know what is. I have had other butterfly encounters this week. I believe it is Nan letting me know that she is happy.

I miss Nan so very much- more than i can currently express. I keep thinking of things i want to say to her, then i remember she is no longer alive and it is like a little part of me dies a little bit more.

There are times when i wish i could rewind time itself just so i can have a little bit more time with her.
I never got to say goodbye properly and that is what upsets me the most.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s