and you arrive at today.
It was about a year ago that my Nan was first diagnosed with the breast cancer.
It was about a year ago that my life changed more than i thought it ever would.
I feel so alone, even though i know i have a few friends and family that do care.
Others not so much, but a few do.
I have very strong feelings that the next 3 months are going to be very hard as it was this time of year- last year, that i spent so much time with Nan. Helping her in every way that i could. Even if it was just sitting with her by her hospital bed, or on the lounge next to her when i was looking after her.
I will never forget the little chats we had, the things she told to me that i will take to the grave- just as she took them to hers.
I thought the grief would lessen and life would be easier to live as time went on. But it seems that it isn’t the case.
As i type this, tears are running down my cheeks, i cannot stop them, nor do i think i want to stop them.
They are tears showing how much i miss my Nan, how much i loved her, how much i still love her. How i wish i could have her back with me.
Sometimes life really sucks. I can’t help but wonder what i have done so bad to deserve these obstacles in my life.
I just want to be free.
I just want to feel loved.
I just want to know who i am.
I feel that i have lost all meaning of life.
I am scared.