Light at the end of the tunnel

I see the light at the end of the tunnel, I am hopeful of getting answers to my continuing pain.

Recent blood test results showed some abnormal levels which has my doctor thinking I could possibly have Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA). Today I have to have some scans done so further testing can be done to confirm if I do in fact have RA.

A part of me hopes that I do, I just want answers so I can look into the illness more, do I can research what I can do to help myself. There is also a part of me who wants to find out this is not RA… But then it leaves me where I was. Still in pain with no idea why.

I currently feel scared. The first part is in just over 7 hours time but I can’t sleep. My mind is racing, anxiety is rising, negative thoughts are present and pushing past the few calming slivers of hope that I have left.

I don’t know how long it’ll take to get the results, but I’m hoping not more than a few days.

If this isn’t RA, I want to keep pressing on… I want to get to the bottom of this pain. I want answers. I have put up with the pain for far too long.

Howling

The winds are howling,

Crying out to those they’ve lost.

The winds are howling,

Warning those to turn and recede.

The icy winds cut like a knife,

Severing life and limb and taking lives.

The icy winds cut like a knife,

No one is safe from their deadly bite.

Stop.

Listen to what she has to say.

Stop.

Take her advice, stay away.

If you must go,

Do not blame me.

She tried to warn you,

She is the vicious sea.