A smack in the face.

I know i have been absent for quite a while. I feel really bad about it. I have thought about so many things to write and blog about, but when it comes to the point of actually doing it, i just can’t.
My brain won’t work, my fingers won’t type out the words i want to say.

A couple of weeks ago i got an out of the blue phone call from my Mum. We might talk on the phone once every few months and only really catch up in person 2 or 3 times a year, and the visits barely last more than an hour. This call was a real smack in the face for me.

Anyway, she rang me to tell me that she was just diagnosed with “BC”.
She hates saying the word “cancer” let alone “Breast Cancer” which took her Mum, my Nan, just a few years ago.
She has told me that she does NOT want me to come to any of her appointments and to just let her siblings (the 2 that threatened to hurt my family and I) do everything for her. I think that comment hurt more than hearing that she actually has cancer.

I rang her a couple of days ago to see how she is doing and what tests, etc she has done recently.
She’s had multiple blood tests, biopsies, scans and who knows what else done.
I have told her to stay strong. To listen to the Drs, to get them to explain things over and over again until SHE understands them, not just tell her siblings what is going to happen and leave my mum in the dark about what will happen to her body.
I have explained to her that by what she has told me, it sounds like she may need an operation to remove the damaged/cancer tissues within her breast. She may then need further treatment to make sure that all the bad cancer cells have been killed off or removed.
I just hope she is stubborn enough with her siblings (like she is with me), to be able to have final say in everything that is happening with her on this journey she is about to take.

Yes, my Mum can be a bit of a hard case and she can get annoying. Yes, she may have hurt me during my childhood, but i am grown up enough to be able to put those things aside to help her when she needs it most as at the end of the day, I want HER to have final say in what happens with HER own life. Unfortunately her siblings have previously tried to get her put into a home or institution of some description. She would not do very well at all in a place like that. She is capable of looking after herself, she can and does control her own finances. She does not need a carer.
My biggest worry is that her siblings will make her sign something which will only benefit them and their wallets. I am scared for her. I am scared for what they have planned to do behind her back.

I just wish she could see through their masks, their lies and them being 2-faced to her and realise that i just want what is best for her. That i want her to have a say in everything that will happen in the coming weeks, month and years.