This time of year is supposed to bring out the best in all of us. It is supposed to be a time of parties, celebrations, gift giving, charity, caring and to many people- Jesus and/or Santa.
To me however, this time of year is one that i dread. It is a time of year that reminds me of those who i have lost, it is a time of year which reminds me of the family members who have upset not only me, but others at gatherings among family and friends. It is a time of year that makes me feel threatened, scared, wary, a time of year that leaves me doubting myself, a time that makes me question my own worth as not only a friend, but also as a mother, a wife and often has me questioning my own existence.
I may not be homeless or going hungry from being unable to buy food to eat- but i do feel alone.
It is almost like the more people i have around… the more lonely i feel.
In an ideal world, i would love to celebrate this time of year with my family, but i want to do it within my means and i would love to start a new family tradition… not follow on with the traditions of other family members.
Something simple like a picnic at a beach or park, or even go camping for a few days if the weather is nice enough. It doesn’t have to cost a lot of money… i would ideally just like to spend some time with my hubby and our children.
Just our little family.
Surely that is not too much of an ask? Is it?