Anticipation can be scary.

Anticipation can be scary, especially when you don’t know what you are waiting for, how big it will be, what form it will appear in.

Not knowing what you should be looking out for can be very worrying indeed as how do you know if it passes by you one day and you never knew that was it? What if it is then gone forever?

Yet, if you grab out at anything and everything that goes past… it could be all for no reason.

How do you know when something is for you to take hold of?
How do you know if something is meant for you?
How do you know what the future holds?

It doesn’t really hurt…

Throughout our childhood we will be told about many wonderful, and sometimes scary people and creatures who we will never actually meet.
that we tell our children are just that- innocent.
Make believe ideas such as the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Sandman and Monsters Under The Bed give our children someone to look forward to or someone to be wary of.

I don’t think these lies are bad at all, they help our children become the adults of tomorrow, they help to teach them about anticipation, patience, using manners, being well behaved, polite and aware- just to name a few things.

The things I do not agree to lie about would be when their well being is at stake. I do not believe children should lie about people who hurt them- a trusted adult or friend should be informed and then a decision can be made as to if something further should be done.
Children should be taught that it is acceptable and a given that kids should feel safe enough to be completely honest and truthful with their parents.
Good or bad- we as parents should be able to do what we can to direct our children on the right path to make correct decisions in life.

Reader’s Block! It’s at a stand still!

Being totally engrossed in a book was something I used to absolutely love. Since having children though, my books have just become ornaments gathering dust.

My poor books have been gathering dust for over 11 years now. I used to love thrillers, books that messed with my mind a bit, as well as reference books.

My bookshelf is choc-a-block of books from my childhood that I can’t bear to part with, books that are over 100 years old, home butchery books, cooking books, art and craft books as well as reference books on how to look after most types of domestic pets.

When reading, I don’t like to be disturbed, I love to grab a book, get comfortable and lose myself for hours on end.
I used to love reading an entire book in a single sitting.

This hasn’t been the case over the past almost 12 years though as I have always had (young) children around me.

I do read the stories in magazines. It’s not the same as getting stuck into a book, but it is better than nothing I guess.

Me? Nervous?

It’s the night before a big day and quite honestly, I’m trying to not make a fuss about it at all.

Inside, I’m absolutely shitting myself. On the outside, I try and remain calm and collected. I have to be strong for my kids and family.

The biggest problem I have is if I have to shake someone’s hand. I can’t hide the sweaty palms. That’s the big giveaway of how nervous I am.
Over the years, you learn the tricks of the trade on how to look like nothing bothers you and hide the true fact that inside you’re absolutely shitting yourself.

You do what you have to do to try and be as normal as you can…

Fussy? Not me, I’m just selective.

I wouldn’t say I was a fussy eater, I guess I’m just selective.

I think one thing I used to have with almost every meal growing up was tomato sauce.
I’d smother mashed potato in margarine and tomato sauce until it was almost bright red, I still enjoy sliced tomato and tomato sauce sandwiches as well as tomato sauce on tinned tuna, ham or chicken roll sandwiches, I have to have a heap of tomato sauce on meat pies or sausage rolls when I have them.

Toasted cheese, tuna & tomato sauce sandwiches taste lovely.

I don’t see these as quirks though, it’s just what I enjoy.

As a child I hated most vegetables with a passion. I remember enjoying mashed potato, tinned beetroot, tomato, lettuce and tinned corn- the rest I was quite unsure of.
These days however, now that I have matured (I think) and now have a family of my own, I do eat a much larger variety of foods to what I did growing up.

Something that I am quite against eating would have to be oysters, tripe and mushrooms. They’re three foods I have never ever had an inclination to eat, or even try.
I grew up with my grandparents loving tripe and mushrooms and it would often be cooked. While I don’t find the smell nauseating or sickening, their aroma while being cooked is one I won’t forget.

Can we ever have too much?

“Perhaps too much of everything is as bad as too little.” – Edna Ferber

I’m not so sure about that.

I believe that a living thing (person, animal or plant), can never be shown too much love, care or friendship.

A loveless childhood can be very damaging for scores of years after the damage has been done.

Food can be a problem though. The wrong type, too much or too little of it can have a negative effect on a person/thing.
I believe in moderation and common sense.

Things that one can have too much of include hurt, betrayal, pain, medical conditions…
Sometimes getting hurt or sick can teach us a lesson but when it strongly affects our lives in a negative manner, that’s when things aren’t fair.
I wish I had a spell that could eradicate cancer and other detrimental diseases.

I do believe in survival of the fittest and natural selection, but that shouldn’t mean anyone should suffer and be in pain for long periods of time.

Ten minutes of randomness

Writing for exactly ten minutes sounds very easy, doesn’t it?

The thing that one has to think about though, is WHAT to write about. The topic needs to be interesting enough to keep the reader interested, yet not too deep as the writer will get drawn into the moment and end up writing well beyond the ten minute allowed time frame.

I was watching a cooking show tonight on TV with my young daughter and we watched pancakes being made with yoghurt as one of the main ingredients. I’ve never heard of a yoghurt based pikelet before, but it looked very tasty so I am sure that it will be tried and tested as school holidays are just around the corner (which in turn means the kids will all of a sudden be saying “Mum, I’m bored” most of the day/night).

Logging onto Facebook the first thing to pop up in my newsfeed was a quiz that a friend of mine had done. It was about riddles. I thought I’d have a go myself and although there wasn’t a definite result at the end of it, I think I got 100%. I have always enjoyed riddles, both those that have been passed down through generations as well as those found in joke books and told by friends in primary school.

It’s after midnight as I write this and I have the TV on as background noise more than anything. I couldn’t help but look up as I just saw an advertisement for Barbie dolls. What business does Mattel have putting Barbie ads on at this hour? Shouldn’t they be aired at a more child-friendly hour? Something like 4-8pm maybe??

Well, time does fly as the saying goes and this task was for me to write for ten minutes… not a minute more… nor a minute less.
I’m not sure if I’m typing much slower or faster than I usually do, but I have surprised myself…

That was ten minutes…

Common sense? What’s that!?!?!?

“Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense.” — Gertrude Stein

I honestly do believe that common sense is very rare these days.

It seems that every other person is now wearing hi-visibility shirts or vests, even some work vehicles are now sporting hi-vis coloured paint jobs.

There are signs warning us about signs that may be ahead.

Even our food has warnings on it. A bag of salted peanuts contains a warning that “This product contains peanuts”- well, I bloody hope so as that’s why I bought it!

I think the world has gone cotton wool crazy. Everyone seems to think that they have to wrap each other up in cotton wool for fear that something may possibly go wrong. No one wants to do, say or offer anyone anything in case it is taken the wrong way or unintentionally hurts someone.

I’m by no means old, but I don’t call myself young either- but I remember being little and going outside and playing.
If I fell over and skinned my knee, no body got sued, I simply got up and brushed myself off and continued to play (or go home to get it fixed up if it really hurt).
I was able to go to a friends house and eat their food, likewise I was able to have friends over at my house and they’d have snacks or meals without any worries.

My favourite lunchbox item was my peanut butter sandwich. I could eat lollies without worrying about how much sugar was in it as I would burn it off as most of my days was spent outside doing some form of exercise (It was called PLAYING!)

Even TV was easier to watch, there were kids shows, family shows and Adults Only shows (or those shows where you had to go to bed when you were told and then sneak into the lounge room and hide behind the lounge to sneakily watch the show your parents wanted to watch after your bedtime).
These days there are shows for general viewing, babies/toddlers shows, shows for primary aged kids, tweens, teens, young adults….. And not to mention all the other codes that let you know about the themes within the program.

Some days I wish things were so much simpler.
Maybe I was born into the wrong generation? Maybe I am simply being unrealistic (I’m sure there’s a warning sign for that somewhere)?

Unfortunately, common sense just isn’t so common anymore… it’s actually a novelty in some places/cases.

And just like that… it was done!

My TO-DO List:

1- Say what I actually believe in, stand up for myself & be confident.
2- Prove to myself that I CAN successfully follow my dreams.
3- Stop with the “what if’s” and start DOING STUFF!
4- Sell the majority of my “stuff”- the items I never use and will never miss.
5- Travel to the places I always said I’d like to go to.

That was then…………
Fast forward to now…………

I don’t know why I hesitated for so long.
Looking back on things- I think I was just stalling.

Was I scared of not knowing how things would turn out?
Was I listening too much to all those people that kept telling me my dreams were impossible and I would never be able to achieve them?

Look at me now!
I’ve got far less possessions to what I had back then (but my bank balance is now looking much better and allowing me to do this), I’m on the road chasing my dreams, spending my days and nights exploring this great land of ours and informing the world of my experiences and teaching them about lesser known facts along the way.

Thousands are following my journey of a lifetime, a journey that will hopefully last for the rest of my lifetime.
Thousands upon thousands have the opportunity to share my experiences through my artworks, through my writing.

This is who I am now.

Gone is the scared, suicidal teen who was certain her life was one huge mistake.
She has been replaced with a much more confident and experienced woman who has many life experiences that she now utilises to help others.
She shares her stories with those who ask about them, she shares her knowledge with those who want to learn.

She is capable of all this thanks to being able to see the light at the tunnel and start believing in herself.
It all started with a To Do List.

A simple to do list that ANYBODY can create, anyone can tailor a to do list to their requirements and if followed, it WILL change your life as it has changed mine.

The Stranger who changed my life.

“Excuse me, could you tell me your name? I’m waiting for someone fitting your description.”
“Kate, my name’s Kate” I reply to the stranger. I don’t know why I exposed my identity, I guess it was just gut instinct that the person hunched over me was trustworthy enough to let them know who I was. I mean, they said I fit the description of the person they were waiting for.

“I’ve been looking for you”

And with that, I had company at my table..

I sat silently, continuing with my lunch. This was one of my favourite meals- a delicious filling meal of mouth watering delicate grilled fish with a colourful and tasty garden salad on the side. Over the past few years I had lost interest in hot potato chips, but this day they were on the plate with my meal as well- they were thickly cut and had a lovely seasoning on them. I was reliving my childhood while enjoying my lunch and savouring the moment- wishing it wouldn’t end.

“So, I guess you’re wondering who I am and why I am here” the stranger stated. I acknowledged his question by nodding as I had my mouth full of food.
He continued on “I have learnt that we may be related. I heard you have been looking for me.”
He placed a piece of paper on the table in front of me and without saying anything else, he got up and left.

Once he had left the café, I opened the piece of folded paper up to find a hand written note.

It read:
For many years I have thought about you, you will always hold a special place in my heart. I am glad to know that you are alive and well.
Maybe one day we can start to get to know each other…
Your Father

His name and contact details were also noted down on the bottom of the paper.
The ball was now in my court.

First and foremost I had to take it all in. I had never met this man before in my life and today we met for the first time, over 3 decades from when he first met my Mum.
It was only a brief encounter, but enough for the both of us to know we existed.

Now it was my turn to arrange the next encounter.
I had to think… there was so much I had to consider…

I did not know where to start, should I chase him out the door and ask him to come back?
I could not move though- I guess it was the shock of everything that had just happened.

Don’t get me wrong, I was very happy, thrilled even as I never imagined this would have ever happened to me. I thought the idea of ever finding my Dad was just a dream- but here it was. He was alive, he was happy to know I was alive too and best of all, he seemed more than willing to get to know me, his daughter.

I tried to process what had just happened as it still seemed so surreal.
I could see the similarities between he and I. We looked alike, we had solid builds, were tanned with fair hair and matching eyes.

I think it could take a while to take the next step, but I didn’t want to leave it too long as I didn’t want to come across as uninterested.

This really was a life changing moment.