It doesn’t really hurt…

Throughout our childhood we will be told about many wonderful, and sometimes scary people and creatures who we will never actually meet.
that we tell our children are just that- innocent.
Make believe ideas such as the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, Sandman and Monsters Under The Bed give our children someone to look forward to or someone to be wary of.

I don’t think these lies are bad at all, they help our children become the adults of tomorrow, they help to teach them about anticipation, patience, using manners, being well behaved, polite and aware- just to name a few things.

The things I do not agree to lie about would be when their well being is at stake. I do not believe children should lie about people who hurt them- a trusted adult or friend should be informed and then a decision can be made as to if something further should be done.
Children should be taught that it is acceptable and a given that kids should feel safe enough to be completely honest and truthful with their parents.
Good or bad- we as parents should be able to do what we can to direct our children on the right path to make correct decisions in life.

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DP: Comforting Scents

Smells can be comforting. They can also be a trigger for bad memories.
Today though, I’ll concentrate on the positive smells I’ve encountered in my life.

I have been fortunate enough to have had many great memories whilst taking in the most unlikely “nice” smells.

I believe the smells of sheep, horse and cow manure are positive.
They remind me of the many happy holidays I spent at the family farm. I got to help with the odd jobs around not only our family farm but also the farms of a number of close family friends.
The strong aroma of old sheep manure reminds me of the times I spent in shearing sheds helping out with shearing, working in amongst sheep from first thing in the morning to almost sunset in the evening, my hands and shoes thick of sheep grease- lanolin. Some people pay good money to have their shoes shined in the same way or to have their hands so supple and soft, smothered in a natural moisturiser.
The smell of horses reminds me of the regular horse rides I used to go on during my teenage years. The rides only lasted about an hour, but it was the most relaxing, exhilarating hour that I looked forward to each month.
Cattle smells remind me of going to the yearly show; wandering through the animal yards, watching them be washed, dried and brushed ready for the show ring.

The Smell of blood ‘n’ bone reminds me of the hours I would spend outside helping in the garden. Turning over the soil, fertilising, pruning, planting and everything else that went with it.
I still enjoy gardening today and I hope my kids enjoy it even half as much as what I do.

 

In response to: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/nosey-delights/

Daily Prompt: Last but not least.

In response to today’s Daily Prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/last-but-not-least/

I would like to finally thank all the bullies who have made my life hell throughout my life so far.
If it wasn’t for you all being so mean, the hurtful words, the shoves, kicks, threats and other crap I endured… then I would have never have realised just how strong I really am.

If it wasn’t for all the negativity, I would have never known just how strong I really am, I would have never known what my pain threshold was and I am sure I would not be able to put up with the chronic pain I endure today if I hadn’t have learnt to grow a thick skin when I was younger.
Thanks to you all, I know how to turn off to pain.

I would never wish it upon my biggest enemies, never upon you- my bullies for you to ever be hurt how I was over the years; but I am glad it happened to me as I now know I am stronger than I ever thought I was.

Once I am able to find my self esteem again I will be able to soar over you all and excel in everything I do.

Daily Prompt: Mainly Country but also quite eclectic.

Being (mostly) raised by my grandparents, country music played a large part of my life, I also had hymns play a part of my life as my Nan was a Sunday School teacher when she was younger so used to sing those songs to me as well.
Mum liked a mix of music so I grew up to like some of what she did too.

As I got older, I listed to a lot of the music that my friends did. We lived in a very multicultural area so I listened to everything from jazz, blues, reggae, rap and hip hop to classical, pop and rock.

I was always keen to listen to a new artist or band and if I liked what I heard, I’d buy their single and them possibly their albums later on.

My hubby and I like a lot of the same types of music, but we also like different things too. We are raising our children to be open to listening to ALL types of music and then allowing them to decide on what they like more.

 

 

Daily Prompt: http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/20/daily-prompt-papa-loves-mambo/

DAILY PROMPT: I didn’t get fleas.

In response to today’s Daily Prompt ( http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/02/18/daily-prompt-west-end-girls/ ) I thought I would write about my childhood.

My Mum had me quite young and she was still living at home when she had me so I was lucky enough to have my Nan and Pop help raise me too. Well, I think they actually did more for me than what my Mum did but that’s a completely different kettle of fish.

I grew up in a not-so-great suburb where crime and drugs was a problem.
It wasn’t always like that.
My Pop bought the house in the 1940’s when the road out the front was still dirt and sheep and cattle would be moved along it. Everyone knew everyone and it was very safe but as the years went on, the area attracted a different “crowd”.
Housing commission houses/units were built (high density style) and most of the families that moved into the area were poor, they came from families who survived on welfare payments, those kids who’s parents worked usually worked hard labouring jobs and didn’t earn a great deal of money. Some friends Mum’s had to turn their garages into “mini sweat shops” where they would sew most hours of the day to meet their quotas sewing clothes for big brands and international companies for a small wage.
Many kids were “latch-key kids” from a young age, some as young as about 5years old. They would be expected to get themselves ready for school and come home to an empty house at the end of the school day while their parents worked.

I was one of the lucky ones. My family had a house to call our own that was paid off, I had 3 adults to be there for me whenever I needed them. Some of my friends would come over and play at our place, they’d often end up staying for a meal, occasionally we’d have sleep overs.

As I got older, my grandparents continued to instil their wisdom and their own upbringing on me. I learnt not to waste anything, I learnt to reuse and repurpose whatever I could and to recycle or compost what was left over. Almost nothing was rubbish as such.
One thing I will never forget is my Pop telling me “If you lie down with dogs, you’ll most likely get fleas”. Or in other words, if you mix with good, law-abiding people you’ll turn out good, but if you mix with people who continuously wanted to cause trouble, commit crimes and use drugs then you’d most likely end up following that path too.

Some of my friends came from honest families, other friends not so much.
From a young age I had been taught right from wrong and new what I should and shouldn’t be doing. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a saint, but I knew not to do things that would get me on the wrong side of the law.

When I was a teenager, the housing estate where most of my friends lived turned into a very scary place. Unfortunately the problems got worse as the media kept doing stories on how bad the area was becoming. The problem families (yes- the parents were causing as much trouble as the kids) would lap up all the (bad) attention they were getting and play up for the cameras even more.
Thankfully all the locals knew each other; not necessarily by name, but we recognised each others faces. When things were at their worst, I still felt relatively safe walking my little dog around the area. I could walk past gangs and nothing would be said. I think it must have been like a mutual respect type of thing. They knew I wouldn’t cause any hassles and I knew they wouldn’t hassle me if I didn’t give them a reason to.

As the years went on and I got older, I found more of my friends getting into trouble. I tried to help them how I could but I was not going to be led down the same path that they were going.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that even if you mix with people who do seem nice enough at the start but end up on the wrong side of the tracks, it doesn’t mean you have to end up like them.
I may have lied down with dogs at one point in my life, but I didn’t end up with fleas.

My Mum and Nan still live in the area but about a decade or so ago, the housing estate was demolished, replanned and reconfigured and rebuilt. Some of the old families got to move back in and a lot of new people moved in to the area.
Much of the crime has gone, but it’ll never be what it used to be.

Nothing ever is.

When real life gets in the way of virtual life.

Isn’t it funny;
If we didn’t have internet connection, I wouldn’t be writing this blog, nor would you be reading it.

We seem to have come to rely on being connected to the virtual world almost 24/7 these days.
We seem to get upset, frustrated, worried and concerned if we don’t know what is happening online.

Our virtual lives may be better than the lives we live in real life, or they may be worse… they may even work hand in hand with each other.
I suppose it differs with each person.

A little while ago my virtual world was much more interesting and more attractive than what my real life has been,
but for the past week, it’s been the other way around.
I have been kept quite busy.
Some days it was doing things for other people… actually, most days it was doing things for others.
Sometimes I felt I was doing a good job, other times I felt I was being nothing but a burden to everyone whether I knew them or not.
On those bad days I felt like going into hibernation- hiding from the world until things got better again.
Those days were really bad for me as I would let everything get to me which has resulted in me getting next to nothing done.

It also stopped me contacting those who I feel close to (outside the house). I feel I have let my friends down as I haven’t been a very good friend lately, especially during my low days.

I wish I could just be happy like other people. I try to put a happy mask on and act as though nothing’s wrong, but lately it’s been hard for me to wear the mask.

My true feelings have been showing through too much.

The worst part is that when people ask how I am, all I seem to be able to manage is a shrug of my shoulders or saying “Same as always” or something to that effect.
I feel it is almost impossible for me to say exactly what I want to, to say exactly how I am feeling in fear that people will label me as being childish or trying to be an attention seeker.
The fact is that I am not trying to do either, I just feel like crap and can’t really explain why.

Some days I wish I could just drive somewhere nice, maybe a lovely shady park near a lake or creek or river, maybe in a little section of bush or a forest that is near by just so I can be at one with nature and try and reconnect with myself and nature in general.

I think the problem is a lot of the time I forget WHO I am.

I am always trying to please others and do what they need me to do for them. Much of the time what I do doesn’t seem to be enough, but the fact that I tried my hardest never seems to be good enough for them.

It’s quite soul-destroying really.
It is a vicious circle I’ve been stuck in for many years now.
As a child I tried my best and depending on who I was with, I was either a great little helper or nothing but trouble and a big hindrance. Sometimes behaving the same way would get mixed results- it just depended on who I was with at the time.

As a teen and young adult, I tried to please everyone I liked.
This often got me in trouble and as a result I was bullied. A. LOT.

During my school years, I tried to keep my bullies happy by buying them things so they wouldn’t hurt or tease me. Thankfully I received an allowance so I was able to bribe my bullies with lollies and such.
After I’d finished school and entered the workforce, I’d hoped that would have been the end of the bullying- after all, this was the “grown up, adult, working world” now.
How silly I was.

At first things were great. Everyone was friendly to the new girl. I tried to get to know all my workmates and then chose to be closer friends with a select few who I believed were really trust worthy.
Maybe I was just naïve, maybe I was too young and green to understand what others were capable of, how not everyone I would meet would be people I could trust.

I had, on a few different occasions, my so called friends take advantage of me.
I’d grown up a tom boy and had many true male friends growing up so felt more comfortable around guys than I did around other girls but that’s what got me in trouble. I was too trustworthy.

I kept it a secret for over a decade. I was too scared to tell anyone what they had done to me as I felt that it was my fault. I’d been told it was my fault as I told my boyfriend at the time what had happened and he didn’t seem to have any sympathy for me, nor did he offer to help me. He simply told me that I must have led them on and it was all my fault.

I have found it very hard to completely recover from.
I still get flash backs which affects my relationship with my husband (who I didn’t even know at the times I was abused).
For some strange reason, it feels wrong writing that I was abused. I guess I have always felt that it was my fault so I shouldn’t be making myself a victim now, even though I was a victim at the time.

I get angry at myself for letting it happen.
I get annoyed that the flashbacks still seem to rule my life at times, usually at the most inconvenient times.

It’s feelings like that that stop me from doing things I enjoy.
Even stop me from doing completely unrelated things such as going online and such. It just seems to get too much to handle and I feel that I can’t concentrate enough to get anything done.

I just wish there was an easy cure………

Daily Prompt: BFFs

I have been friends with my BFF for about 20 years, possibly longer.
She’s a few years younger than I am.
We never went to the same schools, just lived across the road from each other and usually got a bus home together from the train station to our stop.

She has been there for me through thick and thin, even if she had problems of her own to deal with.

For quite a while now I have called her “sexybum”. I’m not sure when I started giving her that nick name or how it came about, but it has stuck.
It may have been when she was with her ex-boyfriend. He would be all lovey-dovey around her one day and then turn on her the next saying how he had to go elsewhere to see beautiful girls/women.
They may have had a beautiful daughter together but he had a lot of growing up to do (and most likely still does).

I could never put a price on my BFF, she’s absolutely priceless!

One lovely thing is that our eldest daughters are good friends too. I hope their friendship is like ours. We can go months without seeing each other but when we do get to catch up, it’s as though we only saw each other yesterday.

We are also so very comfortable with each other and talk about so much. Sometimes we end up in tears of laughter as we try to work out how two adults can come up with the most childish and hilarious conversations known to man.

But that’s what I love about my BFF. We cry together, laugh together, try to embarrass each other (but usually end up embarrassing ourselves instead).

I’m not sure how long it will take for her to get around to reading my blog and this post, but I just want to let her know how much I love her for who she is.