Fast forward 12 months…

and you arrive at today.

It was about a year ago that my Nan was first diagnosed with the breast cancer.

It was about a year ago that my life changed more than i thought it ever would.

I feel so alone, even though i know i have a few friends and family that do care.

Others not so much, but a few do.

I have very strong feelings that the next 3 months are going to be very hard as it was this time of year- last year, that i spent so much time with Nan. Helping her in every way that i could. Even if it was just sitting with her by her hospital bed, or on the lounge next to her when i was looking after her.

I will never forget the little chats we had, the things she told to me that i will take to the grave- just as she took them to hers.

I thought the grief would lessen and life would be easier to live as time went on. But it seems that it isn’t the case.

As i type this, tears are running down my cheeks, i cannot stop them, nor do i think i want to stop them.
They are tears showing how much i miss my Nan, how much i loved her, how much i still love her. How i wish i could have her back with me.

Sometimes life really sucks. I can’t help but wonder what i have done so bad to deserve these obstacles in my life.

I just want to be free.
I just want to feel loved.
I just want to know who i am.

I feel that i have lost all meaning of life.

I am scared.


Writing 101: I stumbled upon a letter… it changed my life.

It was like any other day.
I was out for a walk when I saw it.

Tucked into the fork of a tree was an envelope. Beautiful handwriting graced the envelope.
“My Dear” it said across the front of the envelope. I turned it over and saw that it had not been sealed, lifting the flap I realised there was a letter inside.

Carefully taking the paper out of the envelope, I smelt a delicate aroma of perfume.

Unfolding that piece of paper and reading it changed my life.

“My Dear,
I had hoped you never had to read this. I wish I had never needed to write this letter but I have, so here you are reading it.

Please do not sit by my grave and weep. I am at peace now and I am waiting here for you. Do not rush to be with me, enjoy yourself. Do everything we spoke about.

Tell the children I love them dearly. It was not their fault. I just couldn’t take the pain anymore.

Love from your wife

In complete disbelief I re-read the letter trying to make sense of it. Why was it there?
Trying to compose myself I wiped the tears from my eyes and looked up. I don’t know I did, but I felt I just had to.

There she was. Her limp body was blue, lifeless. She looked just like me- long golden hair and sad, distant eyes.

I had to find her family and help them. This was the reason I was put here on Earth.


Writing 101: Day Five- Be Brief.