A handful of years ago you took your last breaths. They should have been taken weeks earlier but some people were in denial of what the hospital staff honestly told them. They were not ready to accept your terminal diagnosis let alone the fact you only had days left with us. They demanded you be kept alive as long as possible, they tried to change your pain relief medication, they force fed you, telling you to eat up as it would make you stronger, put weight on you and help you get better so you could go home.
But all that had already been done. You’d already spent your final weeks at home, spent time with the ones you loved. You’d done everything you felt you needed to do. Those closest to you gave you their blessings to be free. They understood this was your time. It was time to let you go, to be pain free, to once again be with family and friends you had said Goodbye to. It was your time to be with them once again.
I am sorry you were mistreated for those last weeks after you asked me to get you back to the hospital to die. Mistreated by those you gave life to, mistreated by those you gave everything to. You told me during our late night chats that they weren’t to be trusted. It pained you to admit that, but you knew it was the truth and had to be told. The hospital staff did everything they could to help you, to keep you comfortable. But ultimately it was the acts of those individuals in those last weeks which brought you the most pain and suffering.
I’m sorry I wasn’t able to do more for you in those final weeks but the threats and abuse I was dealing with meant keeping a physical distance was the only way to keep you safe, as well as keeping my family and I safe too.
cockatooscreeching 